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Ikiganiro cya 11/15

Urupapuro 2/4 Urujijo abana bagiye kurerwa mu miryango bahura nabyo mu kumenyera abantu bafite imico, imyitwarire, n’imyemerere itandukanye

Urujijo abana bagiye kurerwa mu miryango bahura nabyo mu kumenyera abantu bafite imico, imyitwarire, n’imyemerere itandukanye n’iyabo


Abana bajyanwe kurerwa mu miryango bakunze kubura uburyo bashyikirana n’abantu bafite imico, imyitwarire n’imyemerere itandukanye n’iyabo. Akenshi uwo mushyikirano warahagaze mu buryo butunguranye uhereye ku gihe umwana yagiriye ubwoba. Urugero, umwana ashobora kuba yaratwawe n’imbaraga z’ubuyobozi mu gihe ababyeyi bari bihebye cyangwa barakaye, cyangwa se umubyeyi yitabye imana cyangwa yagize akababaro mu bihe byo gutandukana.
Ibihe nk’ibyo bituma umwana atumva neza uwo ari we n’aho akomoka. Ubundi abana bibona mu babyeyi babo, bityo mu gihe batabonye ubufasha bukwiye bumva biyanze cyangwa badasobanukiwe ibyabayeho. Ese ibibazo umwana afite ni ibihe, ni gute wafasha umwana wakiriwe mu muryango adakomokamo kwimenya no kwiyakira?


KUGIRA IMIRYANGO IBIRI: IKIBAZO CYO KWIYUMVA HOMBI NO KUHAKUNDA ICYARIMWE


Umwana, cyane cyane uwakiriwe mu muryango arengeje imyaka itatu, aba amaze kumenyerana n’ababyeyi be. Uko dukunze kubibona, uwana ntakunze kubyakira, bigatuma ahorana ubwoba no kutamenya umuryango agomba kwisanzura mo. Nubwo ababyeyi be bashobora kuba bataramufashe neza, ikigaragara ni uko ntawakwirengagiza inkomoko y’umwana.

Iyo umwana arerewe mu muryango adakomokamo, agira ikibazo cy’uwo agaragariza urukundo: “Nkunda ababyeyi banjye, ariko na none abanyakiriye bangaragariza urukundo no kunyitaho. Ese ni gute nakwakira uru rukundo singire ipfunwe cyangwa numve ko ntagambaniriye ababyeyi banjye?”

Ibi bibazo umwana ahura nabyo bishobora gukomera kurushaho iyo ababyeyi be bafitanye ibibazo (uburakari, ishyari) n’umuryango wakiriye umwana bakawufata nkaho wigaruriye urukundo umwana wabo yagombaga kubakunda. Ntibyoroshye kwemera ko undi muryango ukurerera umwana, cyane cyane iyo uwo muryango ukurusha amikoro.


UBURYO BWA MBERE ABABYEYI BAKIRIYE UMWANA N’ABAMUBYAYE BABYIFATAMO


Iyo wakiriye umwana wahohotewe cyangwa wafashwe nabi mu muryango wamwakiriye, ni ibisanzwe kurakarira ababyeyi bamubyaye kuko bataramwitayeho mu buryo bukwiye, cyangwa se kubera kutubahiriza gahunda zo kuza kumusura no guhura nawe. Indi myitwarire isanzwe ababyeyi bakiriye umwana bashobora kugira ni ukuvuga ngo: “Reka twibagirwe ibyo ababyeyi bakubyaye bagukoreye, ibanire natwe kandi ugubwe neza”. Iki gitekerezo gishobora kuba cyiza mu bihe bya mbere kugeza ubwo umwana amenyereye aho bamwakiriye. Ni ngombwa ko nyuma y’iki gihe mwaganira ku buryo umwana agira imiryango ibiri, kugira ngo abyiruke yiyizi.

Nk’uko twabisobanuye haruguru, abana bakiri bato cyane bakunze kumenyera vuba mu muryango wabakiriye. Ninabwo umwana atangira kukwita “mama” cyangwa “papa”. Ibi urabyemera ariko ukazirikana ko umwana namara kuba mukuru ugomba kuzamufasha kumenya inkomoko ye. Umwana muto cyangwa igitambambuga bagomba kukubona nk’umubyeyi wabo ariko ni byiza ko umumenyesha akiri muto ko afite ababyeyi akomokaho. Mu gihe agize imyaka hagati y’itatu n’ine, ushobora kumubwira ko afite ababyeyi ahantu habiri. Ni byiza ko umwana abimenya atarabibwirwa n’abandi bana cyangwa abantu bakuru ko atari mwe “babyeyi b’ukuri”.

Ni ngombwa gukemura ubwumvikane buke hagati y’ababyeyi barera umwana n’abamubyaye, kandi bifata igihe, kugira ngo umwana atazagira ikibazo cyo kuyoberwa uwo agomba gukunda. Ni ngombwa kumenya ko iyo urakariye ababyaye umwana, uwo mwana abifata nko kuba murakariye inkomoko ye bwite.

Hari ubwo umwana arakarira cyangwa agerageza kwiyibagiza abamubyaye, ariko ibi bisobanuye ko ahita agira ibice bibiri muri we, kimwe gikunda abamubyaye, ikindi gikunda abamurera, ku buryo atabasha guhuza ibyo bice byombi. Byanga bikunze, ibi bigira ingaruka ku mwana mu bihe bizaza, cyane cyane iyo ageze mu myaka y’ubusore/ubwangavu, mun gihe agerageza kuba umuntu mukuru. Igihe cyose umwana akura akagera ku cyiciro cy’imyumvire cyisumbuye, agomba kurushaho kwimenya neza ari nako agomba kumva neza aho aturuka. Iyi ni inzira ndende kandi ifata igihe kirekire.


KUBAHA UMWANA WUBAHA ABABYEYI BE


Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko amakimbirane ayo ariyo yose hagati y’abarera umwana n’ababyeyi b’umwana agira ingaruka ku mikurire y’umwana.

Uburyo ufata ababyeyi b’umwana buha umwana ubutumwa bumwereka ko ashobora kwiyubaha no kwigirira icyizere– iyo ufashe ababyeyi nabi, bituma umwana nawe atigirira icyizere. Imwe mu nshingano zikomeye urera umwana agira, ni ukugirana umubano mwiza n’ababyeyi b’umwana, kugira ngo ufashe uwo mwana.


IBIBAZO BYIFASHISHWA MU GUTEKEREZA NO KUGANIRA


  • Ubwo wakiriye umwana, ni iki watekereje ku babyeyi be?
  • Wasanze umwana afite ibihe bibazo bishobora kuba byaratewe no kudafatwa neza n’ababyeyi?
  • Ese umwana wamubwiye iki ku buryo wabonaga ababyeyi be?
  • Ese wabonaga umwana afite icyo asobanukiwe kuba arererwa ahatari iwabo?
  • Ni iki cyakugoye kurusha ibindi mu kwakira ababyeyi b’umwana cyangwa ni iki cyiza wabonye mu myifatire yabo?