Topic B: How can SOS mothers prepare for the transition?

In Topic B you will work with an important emotional process of preparation for family reunion: How can SOS Mothers feel secure and positive while handing over a child?

How can SOS mothers prepare themselves for handing over a child?

Children and teens in Alternative Care are very sensitive to the emotions of their caregivers. In particular to the mood of their SOS Parent.

It is very important that a child´s SOS Parent feels secure and convinced that reunion is in the best interest of the child. A professional parent cannot pretend to be calm when handing over a child to others, unless all doubts and worries have been discussed and solved in depth.

For any SOS Parent the first natural response to returning a child to its family can be one of sadness: a painful feeling of separation from a loved child or youth. Also, a fear of how the child or youth will respond to the news – will it lose the feeling of having a secure attachment?

However, re-integration is not about making a traumatic separation. Genuine accept is a long-term process of gradually sharing the child with its relatives, and help the child add new secure attachments in its family of origin. It takes time to make the shift in feelings from “This is my child” to “This is our child”.

Group Discussion 60 minutes:

Please feel free to share your feelings, doubts and hopes:

• What are our personal feelings when handing over our child to relatives?
• Have I experienced difficult separations in my own life that make it difficult to accept?
• Do I need psychological counselling in order to accept reunion?
• How will family reunion affect our attachments and relations with the children?
• How will family reunion affect my future job?

These topics can be discussed several times along the way, until positive accept is acquired.

The natural next question is: What should be considered when selecting a child or youth for re-integration?