Ikiganiro 6/15

Urupapuro 3/4 Ingingo y’ikiganiro B: Uburyo abantu bakuru bita ku bana babafasha kwiyubakamo icyizere n’umutekano bituma bahangana n’ibibazo bahuye nabyo mu buzima

Ingingo y’ikiganiro B: Uburyo abantu bakuru bita ku bana babafasha kwiyubakamo icyizere n’umutekano bituma bahangana n’ibibazo bahuye nabyo mu buzima

Uburyo bukwiye wakwitwaramo iyo wibanze ku mibanire n’ubusane n’abana ni ubuhe?

Igikuru si ibikorwa byawe, igikuru ni uburyo ubikora (ibikorwa binoze).   Uko ufata umwana (cyane cyane mu myaka ibiri ya mbere) bituma yiga uko yitwara mu gihe agize ikibazo cyo gutandukana, akamenya uburyo yabana agasabana n’abandi. Ibi umwana abyigishwa n’abantu bakuru babanje kumwitaho. Imibanire umwana yagiranye n’abantu bakuru babanje kumufasha byubatse uburyo akoresha mu guhangana n’ibibazo yahuye nabyo.

UMWANA WIYUBATSEMO ICYIZERE N’UMUTEKANO –UBURYO BWIZA UMWANA AKORESHA MU GUHANGANA N’IBIBAZO YAHUYE NABYO MU BUZIMA

Uko abantu bita ku bana babafasha guhangana n’ibibazo bahuye nabyo mu buzima no kwiyubakamo icyizere n’umutekano

Iyo bibaye ngombwa ko abantu bakuru bafashaga neza abana bagenda, umwana akunze kubabara ariko ibi ntibifata igihe kirekire. Abana bakomeza gukambakamba no gukina nk’uko twabibonye mu kiganiro cya 4. Umwana ufashwe neza akoresha uburyo bwiza yiyubatsemo bwo guhangana n’ibibazo yahuye nabyo mu buzima. Uko uwo mwana agenda akura, arushaho kwigirira icyizere kandi akakigirira n’abandi bantu, abandi bana n’abantu bakuru bafasha abana. Uwo mwana kandi asaba ubufasha igihe cyose abukeneye nawe akabutanga iyo bibaye ngombwa. Ntibizamugora gukina n’abandi bana, ntibizamugora kureka umwana umwe mu gihe arambiwe agashaka undi bakina. Azagira umuntu mukuru ufasha abana akunda kurusha abandi, kandi hari abana bangana azisanzuraho kurusha abandi maze abagire inshuti ze. Uwo mwana nakura azabana neza kandi yige neza mu mashuri n’ibindi bigo.

Ibi birashoboka mu gihe abantu bakuru bafasha abana babanye neza n’umwana bakamwubakamo urukundo, icyizere n’umutekano.

KUMWUBAKAMO URUKUNDO, ICYIZERE N’UMUTEKANO BISOBANUYE IKI?

Abahanga basesenguye ibyo abantu bakuru bakora mu gufasha abana gusabana n’abandi no kwiyubakamo uburyo bukwiye bwo guhangana n’ibibazo bahuye nabyo mu buzima. Reba videwo eshanu zikurikira ndetse n’inyandiko zibisobanura:

GUHURA N’ABANA:
Ni iki abantu bakuru bafasha abana bakora kugira ngo umwana asabane n’abandi yiyubakemo uburyo bukwiye bwo guhangana n’ibibazo yahuye nabyo mu buzima:

Igihe cyose umwana akeneye abantu bakuru bamufasha baramusanga. Kenshi gashoboka bafata umwanya wo guhura no gukina nawe. Bakoresha akajwi kanyuze amatwi bakagaragaza n’ibyishimo mu maso, kugira ngo bamwereke ko bamwishimiye. Bavugisha umwana bagerageza kurebana nawe mu maso.

Iyi videwo irerekana igikorwa kigamije ‘’gushyira hamwe’’ muburyo butatu butandukanye. Gushyira hamwe bisobanuye kugira ibimenyetso bisubiza iby’uruhinja cyangwa umwana. Icyambere kumwe n’uruhinja, reba uburyo umubyeyi areba mu maso h’umwana, akoresheje amajwi anyeganyeza uruhinja kugirango atuze kandi yumve atekanye. Icyakabiri kumwe n’umwana muto: reba uburyo akoramo imirimo. Icyagatatu umubyeyi arategura amafunguro arikumwe n’abana babahungu: icyiza kigaragaramo hano n’uko umubyeyi atezemo amatwi anitaye kubyo abahungu bavuga. Andi magambo y’ingenzi n’uburyo bagira uruhare n’umurava mukiganiro.

KUMVA NO GUFASHA UMWANA:
Ni iki abantu bakuru bafasha abana bakora kugira ngo umwana asabane n’abandi yiyubakemo uburyo bukwiye bwo guhangana n’ibibazo yahuye nabyo mu buzima:

Baritwararika. Bafite inshingano (kugaburira umwana, kumwambika, kumuririmbira cyangwa gukina nawe) bafata n’umwanya wo kureba uko umwana yumva ameze maze bagakemura ikibazo afite: iyo umwana arakaye, baramuhoza banamwambika inkweto, yaba yishimiye kwambara inkweto bihinduka agakino, n’ibindi. Kwitwararika bisobanuye ko udatsimbarara ku amategeko akaze, ufasha umwana, ukumva uko ameze muri ako kanya.

Reba iyi videwo igaragaza umwana wananiwe gusubiramo amasomo ye. Umubyeyi yabashije kumwumva no kumenya ibyumviro bye. Reba uko umubyeyi abasha kwiyoroshya akabasha kumva umwana.

KUBA HAFI Y’UMWANA:
Ni iki abantu bakuru bafasha abana bakora kugira ngo umwana asabane n’abandi yiyubakemo uburyo bukwiye bwo guhangana n’ibibazo yahuye nabyo mu buzima:

Igihe cyose umwana abakeneye arababona. Iyo umwana ababaye cyangwa arakaye, cyangwa afite icyo akeneye, hari umuntu mukuru ufasha umwana hafi aho umuhoza akanamugusha neza. Kwita ku umwana birakorwa vuba nta mananiza kugeza ubwo umwana yongeyera kumva atekanye.

Muri uru rugero rwo muri Tanzania, ababyeyi bereka abana ko bahari kandi biteguye kureka ibyo barimo igihe cyose bakeneye ko babafasha.

KWIFATANYA N’UMWANA MU KABABARO ARIKO NTUBABARE KIMWE NAWE:
Iyo umwana arakaye, ababaye cyangwa yihebye, umuntu mukuru umufasha yifatanya nawe ariko ntamere nk’uko umwana ameze. N’ubwo umwana arakaye cyangwa afite yazamuye amarangamutima ye, umuntu mukuru ufasha umwana ntabwo arakara, agomba gutuza. Ntabwo agomba gutonganya cyangwa guhana umwana. Ashobora gukomera ku cyemezo cye ariko ntarakare nk’uko umwana yarakaye. Umwana ashobora guhungabana kurushaho iyo umuntu mukuru umufasha arakaye umujinya ugasakara mu mutima w’umwana.

Dufate urugero rwo muri Tanzania aho umubyeyi ufite umwana w’umukobwa arera wabashije kwihangana ubwo uwo mukobwa yari yagagaragaje kutakira ibyamubayeho no kubasha kubivuga.

Yaretse kugira icyo avuga kugirango umwana ubwe agire ibyiyumviro ko akababaro afite bagasangiye, ariko bitamuhungabanyije. Abbasha kumva ibyiyumviro umwana afite ariko bitavuze ko amaeze nk’umwana. Mubutyo bwihuse, uwo mwana w’umukobwa byamufashije kwihangana bityo akomeza gukina.

KWISHYIRA MUKIMBO CY’UWO UFASHA:
Abantu bakuru bafasha abana bakeneye kumenya uburyo umwana yiyumva n’uko atekereza maze bakagerageza kwiyumvisha uko ameze. N’ubwo umwana ataragera igihe cyo kumva amagambo, baramuvugisha bakagerageza gukemura ikibazo afite.

Iyi videwo irerekana umubyeyi ubasha kwishyira mukimbo cy’uwo afasha. Umubyeyi ateze amatwi umwana w’umuhungu anamufasha gusobanukirwa ibihe arimo n’ibyiyumviro afite. Amubwira ko ari ibisanzwe guta ikayi kandi ko ntacyo bitwaye, umubyeyi arereka umwana ku amwumva kandi anamufasha kwakira ibyamubayeho.

INGINGO Z’INGENZI DUTEKEREZAHO

Ufashe umusi usanzwe uba wirirwanywe abana, ni ibihe bikorwa bigufasha kubitaho cyane bagukeneyeho cyane?

Guhura n’abana: ese hari umwanya umuntu mukuru ufasha abana afata buri munsi kugira ngo ahure nabo mu bikorwa bisaba kubitaho by’umwihariko (umwanya wo kuririmba, gukina, n’ibindi)? Ni gute wasabana n’umwana mu gihe ukora imirimo ya buri munsi?

Kumva no gufasha umwana: Ugomba kumenya uburyo umwana runaka yifata mu bihe bitandukanye ( kurya, kwambara, n’ibindi). Ni gute wafasha uwo mwana gukora ibyo agomba gukora? Ni gute ugerageza kumva umwana, cyangwa se ni ubuhe buryo ukoresha kugira ngo umwana akore icyo agomba gukora?

Kuba hafi y’umwana: bifata igihe kingana gite kugira ngo tugere ku umwana ukeneye ubufasha (umwana ufite ubwoba, udatekanye, utishimye, ubabaye)? Umwana ashobora gutegereza ko afashwa nyuma y’igihe kingana iki? Nta bimenyetso umuntu ufasha abana akeneye kugira ngo umwana afashwe, afashwa igihe cyose hari ikintu akeneye. Mu gihe hari abana benshi, abantu bakuru bafasha abana ari bake, hakorwa iki kugira ngo icyo kibazo gikemuke?

Kwifatanya n’umwana mu kababaro ariko ntubabare kimwe nawe: iyo umwana yumva atameze neza, arakaye, atongana buri kanya cyangwa afite umushiha, tubyifatamo dute kugira ngo tubikemure? Ni gute twakwifata mu bintu bitubayeho tugatuza ntiduhungabane tukagumana ineza igihe umwana yivumbuye cyangwa arakaye cyane? Ni iki umwana yakora cyatuma natwe turakara cyane? Ni iki twakora kugira ngo natwe tutamera nk’uwo mwana? Ni gute twakumva amarangamutima ye? Ni gute twaganiriza abana mu gihe turi kubafasha?

Kwishyira mukimbo cy’uwo ufasha: Komeza ukurikiranae ibyiyumviro by’umwana: Uburyo twaganiriza abana kubyo batekereza n’ibyiyumviro byabo, kandi ubungure ubumenyi uko basobanukirwa ibyo abandi batekereza. Urugero: iyo ugize icyo ukorana n’umwana, ugomba kuvuga icyo ubona kigaragara kumwana: ‘’ubu ugiye gukinisha iki gipupe – ariko ndabona wakigiriye ubwoba kubera ko utigeze ukibona mbere – birumvikana, reka tukitegereze twembi’’ cyangwa uracyafashe inkongoro yawe, nibyo koko urashonje, nibyiza kugira icyo urya, bituma unezerwa, nibyo se?’’, n’ibindi.

IBYAKORWA BISHOBORA GUTEGANYWA

Ni gute wanonosora uburyo usabana n’abana (guhura no gukina nabo, kumenya kumva no gukemura ibibazo bafite, n’ibindi).
Shaka ingero utekereze uburyo ushobora kunonosora uburyo ufasha abana.
Ni ibihe bibazo byakubuza gutunganya inshingano zawe (“mfite akazi kenshi, biragoye gukora ibintu bishya, mfite abana benshi ngomba kwitaho kandi nta wundi wabimfashamo”, n’ibindi) maze utekereze ku uburyo ushobora gukemura ibyo bibazo.
Ese hari imitekerereze ishaje ishobora gutuma utuzuza inshingano z’umuntu mukuru ufasha umwana kwiyubakamo icyizere n’umutekano bimufasha guhangana n’ibibazo yahuye nabyo mu buzima:
- “Ababyeyi banjye bahoraga bantuka, nanjye nta kundi nabigenza mu kazi kanjye”
- ‘’Nk’umubyeyi urera abana, ntabwo ugomba kugira imibanire yihariye n’abana’’.
“Nta mwanya, nta n’imbaraga dufite zo gukora ibyo byose”.
“Abana nibatangira kunkunda, bizababaza nanjye bimbabaze ndamutse ngiye”.

Hari ukuri mu byavuzwe haruguru, ariko si byiza kubitsimbararaho, ntabwo bifasha umwana gukura neza. Niba ababyeyi bawe batagufashe neza, ushobora kugerageza gafata abana neza, kandi birashoboka. Kugira imibanire yihariye n’abana no kureka bakakwisanzuraho, mu byukuri niryo pfundo ryingenzi mu kurera umwana. Ni byo koko abana bazababara ni ugenda ariko ibi ni ibisanzwe mu buzima kandi ni byiza ku bana kubera ko bazaba barakunze umuntu wabitayeho kurusha uko baba barabanye n’uwo batakunze. Ubushuti bwihariye n’ingenzi kuburyo budashidikanwaho mu mikurire y’umwana.

Gufasha abana barerwa mu miryango bituma ugaragara nk’umuntu wabafashije kwiyubakamo urukundo, icyizere n’umutekano bibafasha guhangana n’ibibazo bahuye nabyo mu buzima.

IBITEKEREZO

Ese hari uburyo wasabana n’abana ari nako wuzuza inshingano zawe za buri munsi mu buryo budasanzwe?

‘Dushobora kugena amasaha y’akazi adatuma tuboneka n’andi masaha abana bazi ko duhari dushobora kubitaho uko bikwiye’.
‘Mu gihe twaba dufite abana benshi bafashwa n’umuntu mukuru umwe, hari igihe dushobora kubashyira bose mu matsinda. Hari n’igihe dushobora kwita kuri buri mwana. Urugero, nyuma ya saa sita dushobora gukora ku buryo twita kuri buri mwana mu gihe abandi bana bari gukurikira’.

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