Ikiganiro cya 13 kuri 15 biteganyijwe

Urupapuro rwa 4/5: Ingingo y’ ikiganiro A: Ni ubuhe buryo bwiza bwo gutegura guhura n’umushyikirano n’ababyeyi

Ingingo y’ ikiganiro A: Ingingo y’ ikiganiro A: Ni ubuhe buryo bwiza bwo gutegura guhura n’umushyikirano n’ababyeyi

Hari ibintu bibiri ugomba kwibandaho mu gutegura guhura n’ababyeyi: umushyikirano n’indi myiteguro. Ni gute ubasha kubungabunga umushyikirano uhoraho n’ababyeyi b’umubiri? Muri rusange, wagombaga kugira uburyo witwara mu kubonana n’ababyeyi n’uburyo ubitegura:

  • Uburyo bwo gutega amatwi no kwakira: “Ndabyumva ko wahisemo cyangwa wagombye gutanga umwana wawe ngo arerwe mu muryango. Ntabwo nkurenganya na gato, ndatekereza ko wafashe icyemezo watekerejeho igihe wemezaga ko azaza iwacu kandi ndishimye ko wamutuzaniye ngo tumurere mu muryango. Tukwijeje ko tuzakora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo duhore tubonana kandi dufashanya”
  • Ifashishe ingero eshanu zo kwita ku mwana umufasha kwiyubakamo icyizere n’umutekano (reba ikiganiro cya 5): menya guteganya, menya kwishyira mu mwanya w’abandi, gerageza kumenya aho ibyiyumviro by’ababyeyi biganisha ubigendereho, witegure kubahoza, gerageza kwishyira mu mwanya wabo ariko ntiwishyireho umubabaro wabo. Muganire ku byiyumviro n’impamvu zabiteye, urugero: “Ndakumva ko rimwe na rimwe ushobora kugira ishyari ukadutonganya. Biragoye kubona umwana wawe yitaweho n’abandi igihe wakwifuza kumwirerera wenyine. Ababyeyi bose barabikora, rimwe na rimwe hari ubwo ngirira ishyari umwarimo wigisha umwana wanjye- akunze kuvuga uburyo amwishimira mu gihe ahora atuvuga nabi twebwe ababyeyi b’abo bana.”
  • Cyane cyane iyo umwana wakiriye mu muryango ahari: vuga neza ababyeyi be badahari kandi uvuge neza iyo muri kuganira: “Ndishimye cyane kubona ko mama wawe ari hano yaje kugusura, mbega ijwi ryiza afite! N’ibindi…”
  • Mushobora kumenyana kenshi n’ababyeyi bagombye gutanga abana babo ngo barerwe mu miryango, mushobora no kuzahinduka inshuti no kwishyira hamwe n’ababyeyi mufite umugambi umwe wo gufasha umwana gukura neza. Ugomba guhita ubabwira ko nta mugambi ufite wo kubatwara abana.

 

GUTEGURA GAHUNDA YO GUSURA NO KUBONANA N’ABABYEYI BAFITE INTEGE NKE MU MITEKEREREZE NO MU MYITWARIRE
Hari igihe gushyira umwana mu muryango bidakunda cyangwa bihagarikwa- bidatewe cyane n’ibibazo umwana wakiriwe mu murygango ahura nabyo, ariko bitewe no kudategura neza kubonana n’ababyeyi bagaragaza intege nke mu mitekerereze no mu myitwarire. Uku guhura hari ubwo bizana amarangamutima n’urujijo mu muryango wakiriye umwana.

Dore bimwe mu bisabwa ndetse n’ibitekerezo bijyanye no gutegura kubonana harimo na gahunda y’ababyeyi b’umubiri basura umwana n’igihe iyo miryango ibiri ihura:

  1. Ba ”Umubyeyi w’ababyeyi”: Umubyeyi udatekereza neza, utitwara neza ntumurebe gusa nk’umubyeyi, umurebe nk’”umwana” udashobora kuzuza inshingano zo kurera kuko zimukomereye. Ibi bishatse kuvuga ko imyaka ya mbere yo kubaho kwabo yari ibakomereye ku buryo itabafashije gukura neza mu bitekerezo no kuyobora amarangamutima yabo bakanafata ibyemezo byiza. Imwe mu nama yatangwa ni iyi: Shyira ababyeyi mu matsinda atatu cyangwa ane ugamije kubafasha kubongerera ubumenyi n’ubushobozi mu byo kumenya kubana n’abandi. Ubwo rero ugomba kumenya kwitwara nk’umubyeyi imbere y’aba babyeyi, ubateganyirize iminsi yo gusura abana, wihangane, nturakare niba barateganyije umunsi wo gusura umwana bakaba batabyubahirije. Itonde niba wumvise basakuza kuko barakazwa n’akantu k’ubusa.
  2. Iyambaze umusosiyari cyangwa umuntu ugenzura inshingano zawe kugira ngo agufashe gutegura gahunda yo kubonana: ateganye inshuro gusura biteganyijwe n’abayobozi, kandi izi ntabwo ari inshingano yawe. Ushobora kumenyesha abayobozi niba iyi gahunda itakubereye cyangwa ibangamiye umwana. Ababyeyi ni bagerageza kukoshya cyangwa gusaba inshuro nyinshi yo guhura kuruta iminsi yateganyijwe, ntujye impaka. Babwire gusa ko atari wowe ufata icyemezo ahubwo ni abayobozi bafata icyemezo nibo bonyine bashobora guhindura gahunda.
INAMA ZEREKERANYE NA GAHUNDA YO GUSURA KW’ABABYEYI BAGARAGAZA INTEGE NKE MU MITEKEREREZE NO MU MYITWARIRE
Ingingo enye zifasha mu kugenzura gahunda yo gusura kw’ababyeyi bagaragaza intege nke mu mitekerereze no mu myitwarire:

A. Tegura gahunda guhera ku munsi wa mbere kandi ikurikizwe nk’uko biteganyijwe, tanga amabwiriza, gerageza kwitwararika kandi ibitu byose bisobanuke neza: “Tubahaye ikaze mu rugo rwacu. Ndakora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo mwishimire kubana natwe. Ikintu cya mbere tubanza gukora ni ukwicara twese mu gikoni mu gihe ndi guteka ikahwa mufate ibyicaro mwisanzure”. Ibi biragaragaza ko uri kuyobora guhera ku munota wa mbere kandi ibi birakenewe niba ababyeyi bafite ubwoba, barakaye cyangwa nta mutekano biyumvamo..

B. Kora gahunda y’ibikorwa biteganyijwe muri uko gusura. Bishobora kubagora kubyakira icyo wakora ni ukubasaba “kwicara mukabiganiraho” nta gahunda yafashwe. Biroroshye kwibanda ku kintu mwemeje hamwe: “mu gihe turi kunywa ikahwa, ndababwira iyo tugiye gukora uyu munsi: icya mbere ni uko tugiye guteka umutsima bita gato kugira ngo tubonereho n’umwanya wo guseka no gusabana n’umwana wanyu. Harakurikiraho akaruhuko kadufasha gutembera hano hafi cyangwa gukina agakino gato. Hanyuma turaganira ku uburyo umwana abayeho kandi ndabereka ibyo yabashije gushushanya. Nyuma y’aho turajya gusezeranaho hanze tubifuriza kuzagaruka ubutaha. Ndabaherekeza mbageze aho mufatira ikinyabiziga niba mubyifuza”
Ubu ni uburyo bwo kuvuga utanga amabwiriza wereka neza ababyeyi uburyo uri kubafasha nk’umubyeyi: ubitaho, ibikorwa bifatika kandi ubereka uburyo ushaka ko bitwara. Ababyeyi bagaragaza intege nke mu mitekerereze no mu myitwarire bafite ikibazo cyo kumva vuba ibyo babujijwe gukora, ugomba rero gusobanura neza mu buryo bworoshye iyo uri gutanga amabwiriza yerekeranye no guhura. Urugero: niba wifuza kumvugisha kuri telefone, ushobora kumbona guhera saa xx kugeza saa xxx buri munsi. Uramutse uhamagaye nyuma y’aya masaha nshobora kudafata telefone kuko mba ndi mu mirimo yo mu rugo cyangwa kwita ku bana”.

C. Gusura igihe gito bikunze kugira akamaro kurusha gutinda. Amarangamutima y’ababyeyi bagaragaza intege nke mu mitekerereze no mu myitwarire afite igihe ntarengwa mbere yo gutangira kugaragaza ukunanirwa n’intege nke zabo. Gusura kwatinze amasaha a ashobora kurangira giteje ibibazo n’intonganya, ni byiza kutarenza isaha ukareba niba bihagije. Ushobora kubisaba abayobozi bashinzwe kugenzura ubufasha utanga mu muryango wawe.

D. Igihe ababyeyi basura, itware nk’umubyeyi wabo. Ababyeyi bagaragaza intege nke mu mitekerereze no mu myitwarire yabo bakunze kureba ibintu mu buryo bwabo kandi bafite ikibazo cyo gushyikirana n’umwana cyangwa bifuza kuganira ku bibazo byabo bonyine. Nta mpamvu yo kugaragaza intege nke z’umubyeyi tubemerera ko babibwira abana igihe babasuye- ibi bishobora gutuma batekereza nabi. Iyo igihe cyo gusura kigeze, hari igihe nk’urugero, umubyeyi w’umugabo urera umwana ashobora kuganiriza ababyeyi mu gihe umubyeyi w’umugore urera umwana aganiriza umwana. Ababyeyi bagaragaza intege nke mu mitekerereze no mu myitwarire yabo bakunze kwibanda ku bibazo byabo bonyine kurusha iby’umwana kandi ibi ntibagomba kubihakana. Iki ni kimwe mu mpamvu umwana yaje kurerwa mu muryango wamwakiriye.

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